Sunday, April 21, 2013

Autism Awareness Month 4/21 - Autism Mom Diaries - Blogger

Aggression is something that most of us special needs parents have, or will have, dealt with at one time or another. One of the biggest worries some of us have is simply "what happens when he gets bigger than me?". That is a difficult and stigmatizing question to ask yourself... and even harder to answer from others. 

We're trying to expose and discover new voices or under represented voices of autism in the Autism Awareness Month project. 

Jess at Autism Mom Diaries, a fantastic blog, was the only one who said she would tackle this question for me. 

And she bravely tackled what nobody wants to talk about.

Thank you, Jess. Check out her blog at and thank her for answering the question none of us ever want to talk about.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I bravely present Jess at Autism Mom Diaries...

My son is aggressive.*

I don't mean he's rough and plays football.

He is aggressive towards the cats, family, peers, even me.

He'll chase and trap the cats. He'll punch a peer he feels offended by. He punches and hits us when he reaches a breaking point. He makes verbal threats.

He simply reacts.

My son is self-injurious.*

He'll try to choke himself with his hands. He'll punch, scratch, and hit himself in the face. He'll bang his head off the wall.

He loses control.

He doesn't do it on purpose.

He doesn't know what else to do.

He reacts on instinct.

My son is destructive.*

If he gets angry enough, he's like a small tornado. Cushions, books, drawers, toys, anything he can touch can and often will go flying.

He doesn't know he's doing it.

He can't help himself.

He isn't doing it on purpose.

It isn't until the wave is over that he realizes what he did, starts to cry, apologizes, and tells me how out of control he feels. How he wants to be better. How he wants to control his behavior.

He'll ask for help.

Then with tears in his eyes, he'll start to clean up the mess.

He'll want a hug. He'll want a kiss. He'll want to know that his mommy still loves him.

I do still love him. With every fiber of my being. He is my little boy. I am his Mommy.

We adjust. We adapt. We overcome.

*Authors note: At no time is my son or anyone else in any danger of serious harm. He is constantly monitored. If you follow my FaceBook page or blog at then you know we receive several services to help him/us out. One of those services is available to us 24/7 whenever and wherever we need them. He is kept safe from any harm or danger.

This is not a total reflection of our lives either. More often than not, we are smiling, laughing, and sharing. He is the most generous and loving child and I could never ask for anything different. He is my son, I love him dearly, and I am honored and proud to be his mommy.

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