Hey Soul Sister

Siblings.

Although I rarely mention it, I do have a second child. A sweet, beautiful, warrior-poet of a daughter named Jade.

As the NT younger sibling of an autistic child, Jade gets hosed for attention. My wife and I try our hardest to spend time with her alone. We put her in pre-school already so she could play with her peers. We often separate the kids (and parents) for vacations or long weekends. Jade spends most of her hours at home, however, waiting. Waiting while we direct, or re-direct, or schedule, or chase, or rehabilitate her brother.

And she waits magnificently.

Recently our son has been having a rough time. A new school year has started. A new daycamp. Increased appetite. Different bedtime. Less television. A break from OT. We're always looking for the antecedent(s) to his behavior(s). It could be anything. We have 2 years of data now that show little pattern to what sets him off. It's frustrating to say the least, but of this we are certain: Something is not right in his world. Everyone is trying to find it. Everyone is trying to help. Everyone is reaching in to him.

Except Jade.

In the past few days, the baby girl (she's 2 1/2), has begun to imitate her brother's stims. If the boy is spinning in the living room, pretending to be the Hulk, screaming at the top of his lungs, knocking shit off the shelves, hitting anyone that may accidentally get in the way of his hurricane, Jade will bravely dive in and do the same. It worries me sometimes. I don't want to see the same behaviors in the younger child. You can imagine that we watch her development like hawks. If she tries to shake a booger off her hand, we instantly say things like "look! She's flapping! Shit!". Why on Earth would we want our younger baby to imitate the non-functional behavior of her brother?

She's playing. She's trying so hard to connect to her brother. She wants to be a part of his world so badly. She wants to be close to the one she is already biologically closest to. She wants to break down the wall of autism and isolation and say "hey, I love you".

And, once in a very rare while, once in a moment of understanding that only siblings can have, once in a moment of accidental/unintended eye-contact... she gets in. He unlocks the door and let's her in to play. The stim turns into some sort of FUNCTIONAL pretend play.

I spend so much time researching and worrying about how to reach my son. But my daughter just does it. She loves him. She wants to be him. She wants to be with him. She wants to help him. And she does.

Although I rarely mention it, I do have a second child. A sweet, beautiful, warrior-poet of a daughter named Jade.

She is amazing. She may not always know it, but her daddy is VERY proud of her. She amazes me more and more every day. We didn't have a second child to help with the first, but, son-of-a-bitch we got one that does. I love the way you love him. Jade, you are the most unique, amazing, understanding, talented, brilliant, empathetic human being I know. Keep showing the world. Keep shining on like the stone for which you were named.

Although I rarely mention it, I do have a second child. A sweet, beautiful, warrior-poet of a daughter named Jade.